Take it....take another little piece...

This is what I have been doing wrong all along....

"I Don't Believe You"

I don't mind it
I don't mind at all
It's like you're the swing set and I'm the kid that falls
It's like the way we fight, the times I've cried, we come to blows
And every night the passion's there so it's gotta be right, right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No, I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend
To not love me at all

I don't mind it
I still don't mind at all
It's like one of those bad dreams when you can't wake up
Looks like you've given up, you've had enough
But I want more no I won't stop
'cause I just know you'll come around... right?

Just don't stand there and watch me fall
'cause I, 'cause I still don't mind at all
It's like the way we fight, the times I cry, we come to blows
And every night the passion's there so it's gotta be right, right?

I don't believe you


And now...

"It's All Your Fault"

I'd conjure up the thought of being gone
But I'd probably even do that wrong
I try to think about which way
Would I be able to and would I be afraid

Cause oh I'm bleeding out inside
Oh I don't even mind

I'm trying to figure out what else to say (what else could I say?)
To make you turn around and come back this way
(Would you just come back this way)
I feel like we could be really awesome together
So make up your mind cause it's now or never (oh)

It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair

I would never pull the trigger
But I've cried wolf a thousand times
I wish you could
Feel as bad as I do
I have lost my mind

I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair

I hope this clarifies......

CCTCP

What a weak week......

I think that I finally realized what is going on with me...The realization came to me by watching tv (I know great source right?). I am not gonna say it out loud because it's just too hard.

Anyhoo...I have another problem that may be tied in with that one. I am addicted...to a person. It really puts a damper on things. In all my years I never thought it could happen to me. I used to look at girls like me and think how stupid they were, and now I am one of them. What to do?...what to do?

I am just going to pretend like things are normal until they come crashing down; and they will come crashing down my friend I promise you. It's just a matter of when.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.....too serious....

Lets have a great weekend...

CCTCP

Running on empty

You know that you're the only one I have ever loved and the only one that has the ability to break my heart.

In the beginning I was very afraid. My heart was so fragile and I wasn't sure it could take anymore breaking. Even though I felt this way, I decided that I would put my fragile heart in your hands anyway.

Surprisingly you led me to believe that you were someone who had the ability to handle such a fragile heart. I've always known you to be an honest person....but this was a lie. That lie was to be followed by a few more ( which would ultimately add to the heartbreak).

I don't fault you for lying. After all you are human and I have lied to you. The part that I fault you for is the fact that you portrayed yourself as someone that you weren't.

You treat my love for you like it is something that is disposable. I think that you do this because you believe that it doesn't matter what I say or do to you because I won't leave you. That in itself is so evil.

I know that if you read this...the outcome will mostl likely be you rolling your eyes, but this is my personal outlet and I have to get my feelings out there or I will explode.

My heart is in pieces and although I am a lot stronger than I thought after making it through some very heart breaking things...if I had anything when we first came together, it's all gone and I am running on empty.

Sincerely

cctcp

Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!

I would go to sleep right now, but there is no place to sleep.

Sadderday

I am feeling a little down today. I can't pinpoint a particular reason why. I have resigned myself to accepting days like this; it just well, for lack of a better word, sucks.

I wish I had something awesome and life changing to say on here, but I have nothing.

Maybe tomorrow I will feel inspired.

Blah!

CCTCP

Just another manic friday...

Okay so I am sitting here at 8:46 in the morning trying to put on a brave face. It is absolutely pouring outside, so that is calming my nerves a bit.

Today is the day that I have planned to embark on a very long and hard journey. Today is the day that I become a non-smoker. It has been an hour since I had my last smoke and I am already freaking out; not because I usually have a smoke every hour, but because I know that it was my last one.

This time I am not going to tell anybody for the first couple days so there is not as much pressure. Last time....didn't go so well.

Although I feel like the days may go by very slow from now until...I don't know when, I am feeling very good about this. I feel like if there was any time that I could do this, it's now.

Changing my diet to a healthier one has already got me feeling better, and as I was making sure to pick up food with no additives or preservatives in it at the grocery store; I realized that it was kind of pointless if I was going to continue to smoke.....so here I am.

If I don't do this today I will never do it.

Wish me luck and I will keep posting!

CCTCP

Just some phrases that I like....

-Just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean her heart doesn't cry. And just because she comes off strong, doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

-If you can't get someone out of your head, maybe they're suppose to be there.

-I live in my own little world, but it's okay they know me there

-Here's the thing, I've already gone crazy once....I know my limits.

-opportunity knocks once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.

......

more to come at a later date